The Quirked Eyebrow

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Every once in a blue moon I stumble upon a book I don’t want to write a review for. Not because I’m lazy, or overwhelmed…but because I know the chances of (me) making someone cry are high. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t get off on ripping authors (or their work – as the case may be – to shreds.) I do… (because I think my audience deserves to know what to spend their hard earned cash on) but that doesn’t necessarily mean it always sits well with me.

If nothing else, I understand the amount of moxie it takes to introduce something you put your time/effort/heart into, out into the big bad world. I also understand it takes a certain level of dedication to write a book/novella to begin with. So for that alone, I think the author deserve a modicum of my respect.

However…(and here is where I start to sound like a soul crushing wildebeest) I ALSO can’t (consciously) promote the purchasing of reading material I think is, well…bad.  And that is what “Project Wolf” is. It’s bad.

Apocalyptic Fairytale: a werewolf romance with a strange twist.

Roxie doesn’t know why project wolves keep coming after her. Her hero is always there to stop them, but after a private confession, she never wants to see him again. Until she turns into a wolf with tiger colors.

Hero didn’t plan it. Scent overrode common sense that night with Roxie Malone. Instead of any shame though, Roxie didn’t remember the event. She blamed him for it and never wanted to see him again. Not even when he’s saving her.

As she becomes a wolf with strange colors though, Hero realizes she isn’t like him after all. Soon the whole world will too.

Honestly, I don’t know where to start, so in the interest of saving time…let the rather steep decline into Harshville begin.

For starters, I’m still not certain what I actually read. What started off as a rather bumpy (and by “rather” I mean “child sized pot holed”) paranormal novella, quickly morphed into sloppily braided mix of erotic science-fiction with a oogy future ghost chaser. I think the problem stemmed mostly from trying to fit too many concepts into one very tiny package. (Roughly 80 pages.) But that doesn’t make it excusable. Instead of one fluid story (Hero, yes that is his rather obnoxious name, trying to save mystery girl from other wolves.) It became a story about Hero – obsessing about a female wolf he (ultimately) raped – while trying to buy her from her parents (for 500 million) – so other males wolves  who are genetically engineered couldn’t have her – even though she may  not be a wolf because she looks like a tiger – so everyone is afraid of her and suddenly wants to kill her – so he takes advice from a apocalypse predicting ghost – shuffles her off to another world – that is also a pretty shitty place – and they all live happily ever after.

Do you see what I mean?

I am all for creativity. I’m an even bigger supporter of originality, BUT there needs to be a clear handle on both. Shoving too many things into one tiny area makes the area seem cluttered and messy. That is exactly what “Project Wolf” was. Cluttered and messy.

To make matters worse, the love/emotional connection between the two leads was rather blah. He was attracted to her due to some weird animal instinct. Ok, I can get behind that. (I watch Animal Planet from time to time.) But animalistic “she MUST be my mate!!” does not a love connection make. Neither does buying her. So he wanted to protect her? Who cares!! She might have been some weird tiger/wolf mix, but she isn’t cattle! But wait…it get’s worse. He finally teaches her to fend for herself, hunt, gather, howl at the moon and what does he do? Hands her over to the first man he sees. (Who just happens to be obsessed with her hair.) The whole situation stinks, which made reading it feel like pulling teeth.

A few more points and then I’ll hang up my “B” apron and move on.

1) If you are going to have shifters in your story it is necessary to explain how they communicate. Especially when they spend the majority of the story in wolf form and have full blown conversations with humans. (I kept picturing his mouth moving like a really bad kids TV show.)

2) Speaking of being in wolf form. Scenes that are supposed to be sincere and loving are pretty hard to take serious when one of the lead characters is still hoofing it on all fours.

Here’s an example:

“Hero raised his other paw slowly and moved a strand of hair out of her face.”

3) I think I’ve done enough damage. So let me just close this puppy (no pun intended) out.

I don’t say this often, but I’m saying it now…don’t waste your money. Paranormal, sci-fi, romance lovers…it’s not going to matter. You’ll all find yourself wondering what in the hell you just read. And simultaneously wondering where you can get the two hours it took to read this back.

Happy Reading my fellow Kindle-ites and remember: Life’s too short for crappy books!

Add it to you Goodreads shelf / Amazon wishlist

Rating Report
Plot
Characters
Writing
Pacing
Overall: 1.3

About Misty

Your friendly neighborhood narcissist. I'm sarcastic, cynical and a bit cranky. I own a soap box so big that sometimes I have difficulty stepping down off of it, and I'm about 94% certain I have multiple personalities. I don't sleep enough, and I read more than any person should ever consider normal. I have anger management issues, especially when I'm stuck in traffic and I have an unhealthy obsession with my Kindle. I am a vampire lovin', zombie obsessed, book-in-hand, iPod freak. You either love me or hate me. You be the judge.

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