Move Over High-School Musical

Do you ever have those days where you wish you could answer a question with an eye roll? Goodbye complicated explanations, be gone…literary references, hello angsty teenage girl response!

I know, I know…it’s childish, rude and I’m certain most of you are now screaming for me to “suck it up and write the review!” sooo, I will.  Against my better judgement, and the very high possibility that India Lee might chunk my name into the “God I hate this reviewer” wind.

But first… they synopsis.

Gorgeous friends. Gorgeous boys. Endless parties. And a mother who can’t say sh*%.

Laurel Rixon thinks she likes being the good girl. She has a flawless GPA, a best friend who idolizes her, and a football playing boyfriend. Skipping parties to study is fine when you need to impress your perfect mother and of course, your insanely hot English teacher. Laurel Rixon loved being a good girl.

That is until her world at school turns upside down and her own perfect mother makes the mistake of her life. Now Laurel’s ready to abandon the good for the bad, and it’s just so easy when no one can tell you what to do anymore. With a limitless credit card, a new look, and a new clique of beautiful friends, Laurel’s ready to live the life she never knew she wanted.

But when you’ve spent your life on the good side, making up for lost time can get ugly.

Ok, now that I’ve gotten all of the semantics out of the way, let’s get the party started.

The good:

I loved the cover.

and….. um….

still thinking…

damn it!

Now normally (as I’m sure y’all have noticed by now) I would try to find some glowing things to say about every novel. The writing, the plot, the characters…something, but in the case of “Suburban Girl’s Rebellion” I had more issues with it that loves.

To start, I hated the characters. All of them. Ok, that’s not entirely true… I liked Will, he had principles, but as for the rest of the always drunk, snobishly rich, backstabbing, drugged up, over-sexed teenagers that graced the pages of this shockingly clichéd work of fiction, I pretty much wanted to put duct tape over their mouths and shove them in a closet.

On what planet do parents (even morally questionable ones) let their 16-year-old daughters party like Keith Richards on school nights? No one! Hell…even the parents on Gossip Girl have SOME standards.

I get the “point” of the story, I promise. (I’ve even witnessed a less severe version of it) “overly ruled” daughter has a bad day, has a bit of a breakdown and then (rightfully so) decides to break out of her cage and become her own person.  The problem that I have is that “said girl” (aka Laurel) morphs into one grade A, wanna take a water bottle to her head Bitch (<—with a capital B.)  Not only does she lose focus of everything AND everyone around her, but she starts using and abusing the people. Hence the…”I hated the characters.”

“Ok, ok…we get it! You didn’t like her! What else?”

Well, (since I am being forced off my high horse!) The writing was very choppy. I WILL admit that it evened up a little bit in the end (when Laural was going all Satan’s mistress on everyone,) but the first half of the book read as if being sent through a telegraph.

I am mad (stop) I have friends (stop) I should do my homework (stop)

And…if that alone wasn’t enough to drive you bat shit crazy (geez I’m cussing a lot today) Lee put Imogen Rose’s label dropping ways to shame.  I wish I was lying when I say there were at least 4 chapters of shopping references (for the obligatory “good girl gone bad” high-school make-over cliché’) but I’m not. They were there and boy were they extra shiny.

Lastly, cause I’m afraid if I keep going I may make someone cry (sorry India, that was not my intention) the story was open-ended.  That’s right, there was zero resolution.  As a matter of fact, the last page only created MORE questions that needed to be answered as opposed to answering the ones that were already floating around. (Hello…you can’t have one of your main characters talk about a “secret” and then end the story 3 paragraphs later never telling the secret!)

So where does this leave me? Unfortunately on the shorter side of the stick.

This one needs some major attention before you spend your hard-earned moolah on it.

Happy reading my fellow Kindle-ites and remember: it only takes 1 bad seed to ruin the entire apple.

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(1.5/5)

 

About Misty

Your friendly neighborhood narcissist. I'm sarcastic, cynical and a bit cranky. I own a soap box so big that sometimes I have difficulty stepping down off of it, and I'm about 94% certain I have multiple personalities. I don't sleep enough, and I read more than any person should ever consider normal. I have anger management issues, especially when I'm stuck in traffic and I have an unhealthy obsession with my Kindle. I am a vampire lovin', zombie obsessed, book-in-hand, iPod freak. You either love me or hate me. You be the judge.