Rubbing Alcohol – A Girls Best Friend!

Normally I would start off my review with a story, a flash from my past or dabble in the mysteries of my life hindering OCD, however this time I cannot. While I would like to tell you my life has been forever altered by this book, that once upon a time this did or did not happen to me, that because of this book I can sleep better at night, I would be lying, so instead I give you this. My thank you letter.

Dear Blake, Joe, Jeff and Paul,

I bow down to you. Not because of your literary genius (which is so evident in your previous works,) but rather for the strong constitution all of you must posses. While the rest of the world is fawning over sparkly vampires, pledging their undying devotion to the “lovers of blood” you stood up and said “No! We cannot have this.” You my friends have found the courage to stand up for your beliefs . The belief that vampires are meant to be mean, are meant to be ugly, and most importantly vampires are NOT supposed to be VEGITARIAN! You my friends have given us back the fright we have all been missing, and to that I say thank you. To that I say bravo!

Now.. I’m fairly certain you can guess my feelings on this book from the previous two paragraphs, but in predictable fashion I will continue.

“Draculas” was FANTASTIC. The writing, the plot, the way in which the words floated off of the pages in Technicolor. This novel (simply stated) was more than I could have ever asked for.

I have read novels written by multiple authors before and been pleased (King/Straub) and on the flipside, have been sorely disappointed (Sorry… not gonna throw them under the bus) but the idea of 4 writers had me a little…well… baffled. While each of these writers are masters of their craft, I was concerned that their defined styles would clash, that the distinction between each would be too much to bare and that in the end I would find the novel much more confusing than enjoyable. Lucky for me (and you) that was not the case at all. Instead, what was offered up was a novel so well attuned to itself that I got lost in the lives of the people inside the story, not the writer that was spewing them out.

This novel was not written in chapters, but rather written as “characters” which only fueled it’s steadily burning fire. Seeing multiple sides to this, (sometimes gruesome, always complex story) was a treat in itself. Sure…we are reading about what is happening in the maternity ward, but what about in the ER? No problem. Coming right up. But all of this: the writing, the dazzling descriptions, and fantastic character building is nothing compared to the ending. The last 10% is (how did they word it?) Oh yeah…was without doubt a “coup de grass.”

So what does this mean for you? Well… let’s just break it down. If you love a scary read (clown included) around Halloween this one is a must read. If you are sick to death of vampires with rock hard abs and perfectly coifed hair… this is a must read, but… if you are squeamish, afraid of the dark, or have a fear of hospitals in any way shape or form, this one is probably not the best of ideas.

Me personally? I think I’ll read it again.

Happy Reading my fellow Kindle-ites and remember: if at first you don’t succeed try try again, and if by the third time those pesky humans still haven’t given you any delicious red candy just F*cking take it.

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I knew I would never do this blub justice… so here you go, straight from the warped minds of it’s maker:

A DYING MAN’S GREATEST TREASURE…

Mortimer Moorecook, retired Wall Street raider, avid collector, is losing his fight against cancer. With weeks to live, a package arrives at the door of his hillside mansion—an artifact he paid millions for…a hominoid skull with elongated teeth, discovered in a farmer’s field in the Romanian countryside. With Shanna, his beautiful research assistant looking on, he sinks the skull’s razor sharp fangs into his neck, and immediately goes into convulsions.

OPENS THE DOOR TO AN ANCIENT EVIL…

A rural hospital. A slow night in the ER. Until Moorecook arrives strapped to a gurney, where he promptly codes and dies.

WHERE DEATH IS JUST THE BEGINNING.

Four well-known horror authors pool their penchants for scares and thrills, and tackle one of the greatest of all legends, with each writer creating a unique character and following them through a vampire outbreak in a secluded hospital.

The goal was simple: write the most intense novel they possibly could.

Which they did.