I Can Feel Them Crawling!

yogurtThere are lots of things in life I’m certain we could all live without. For instance; Spandex! There is absolutely no need for Spandex, EVER…I don’t care how skinny you are. Or how about silly putty? Is there an actual use for Silly Putty? other than getting stuck inside my kids pocket? I think not. But to top off the list of things that we, or at least I, could definitely do without? Live Cultures!

You know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t pretend like you don’t. Under no circumstance, ever, in the history of mankind is it necessary to inform the public that their yummy little yogurt treats are ALIVE! I have already had to swallow that fact that it’s practically stale milk, do you need to rub it in?

Which advertising genius thought this was a good idea? Were they all sitting around a table when they decided:

“Hey, lets gross people out and tell them that there are little live oogies crawling around actively in the food they are digesting!”


Dear Food Executives, do the world a favor and stop telling us what we are “actually” putting in our mouths! I do not want to hear how you make hotdogs. I REALLY don’t want to know about bologna, and for the love of God… don’t even start with cottage cheese.

Please…just give my digestive system a break and let it think I’m eating the Key Lime Pie like it depicts on the outside of the container!

About Misty

Your friendly neighborhood narcissist. I'm sarcastic, cynical and a bit cranky. I own a soap box so big that sometimes I have difficulty stepping down off of it, and I'm about 94% certain I have multiple personalities. I don't sleep enough, and I read more than any person should ever consider normal. I have anger management issues, especially when I'm stuck in traffic and I have an unhealthy obsession with my Kindle. I am a vampire lovin', zombie obsessed, book-in-hand, iPod freak. You either love me or hate me. You be the judge.

One thought on “I Can Feel Them Crawling!

  1. Gotta agree with that eating live bacteria on purpose thing. Yeah I know, we have all sorts of critters inside us. But I would rather not think about it.
    Spandex, however, does serve some purpose in some sports like cycling which sort of requires that certain parts aren’t flopping around. I remember a brief time in the late 80s when cycling shorts were sort of in style. What a horrible time that was – not for the wearer, but for the public. They should have come with a warning label about size and what to wear under them. Yikes!

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