Even His Emails Were Boring!

juleitThe last two words of “Juliet, Naked” were “Thank God” and I couldn’t agree more.

Thank God, it’s over, Thank God I don’t have to keep reading it, and Thank God I didn’t actually spend any money on this book. Oh wait.. that’s right, I did, and now I want it back.

This book was by far one of the most depressing books I think I have ever had the displeasure of reading. The female lead was pathetic, the male lead was a washed up rock n’ roller who (admittedly) was even more self loathing than myself (if that’s even possible), and even the 6 year old child in this book, who should have been running around like a little demon throwing his Play-Doh at people, spent all of his time obsessing that his pathetic excuse for a father was going to kick the bucket at any given moment. (Which to to be honest might have actually made the book a little more interesting.)

This book was supposed to be about the reinvention of ones self (or so the product description lead me to believe) but all I got out of it was a 2 day jet set getaway to “Pity Town, USA”

There are 3 man characters in this book.

Annie, a 40 year old women, who hates her job, hates her husband, and finds the email ramblings of a recluse thrilling and um…life altering?

Duncan, Annie’s soon to be ex-husband who has a wildly inappropriate infatuation with Tucker (the afore mentioned washed up rock star) who cheats on his wife with a 20 something year old airhead, and then spends the rest of the book regretting his decision. (Uh duh)

and…last but certainly not least

Tucker, the washed up rocker himself who has 5 illegitimate children, no money AT ALL, and is a recovering alcoholic. (Sounds like a winner ladies…doesn’t he.)

The first 2 chapters are about a toilet, which is then followed up by a rather large mound of pissy ex-wives, 5 or 6 chapters of self deprecation, 1 very annoying neighbor, and an eyeball from a dead shark carcass.

Who could ask for more right? Oh, yeah…that would be me. The girl who would actually like a decent plot and not some inevitable circle of masochistic crap.

Save your money people, spend it on something worth a damn, for example a bottle of bleach so you can mail it to these fictional characters and tell them that yes, in their case suicide might actually be the answer.

For a full book description click image


About Misty

Your friendly neighborhood narcissist. I'm sarcastic, cynical and a bit cranky. I own a soap box so big that sometimes I have difficulty stepping down off of it, and I'm about 94% certain I have multiple personalities. I don't sleep enough, and I read more than any person should ever consider normal. I have anger management issues, especially when I'm stuck in traffic and I have an unhealthy obsession with my Kindle. I am a vampire lovin', zombie obsessed, book-in-hand, iPod freak. You either love me or hate me. You be the judge.